Everyone wants to be happy, right? We know we can’t be happy all the time, and I don’t think it’s really about that. Ultimately, we want to feel free to be ourselves, and still loved and accepted. Underneath all the other noise, I think it all comes down to that. The freedom that comes from living authentically is the kind of deep happiness that I’m interested in.
Of course, that might sound a little hard to get. What does that look like? How do we get there?
In this video, Iona Russell and I chat about what it means to live a whole-hearted life. We’re talking about taming your inner critic, tuning into the wisdom of your body, and having the courage to speak up for your desires. Check it out, and let me know what resonates in the comments.
Hi! I'm Brigid Dineen, Soul Whisperer. I believe in a world where well-being comes first. I develop bespoke self-care plans and coach women to set healthy boundaries so they can stop trying to live on leftovers and finally develop their dreams.
I know what you mean about listening to your heart and your body when making decisions. I used to go to far too many “networking” events because everyone I knew said I should — attending would be good for my career; I needed to be “seen”; if I didn’t go, I’d be ostracized for being anti-social. But I dreaded each event for days before it arrived, I hated the small talk, and I felt drained afterward. When I mentioned my dread to a couple of close colleagues, they said everyone felt that way; that I was just shy and fearing rejection; that I should “go into the danger” and I’d be stronger for it eventually. So, I wonder if they are right. How do you know when your body compass is telling the truth and when it is just reacting with fear and you should really confront and get over that fear?
Ooh! Great question, Linda. Thanks for asking! Fist of all, I hear you on dreading networking events. I personally love meeting new people, but I have a time limit as an outgoing introvert, where I’m having fun for up to 2 hours max, then I’ve got nothing left. Your question points to a particular nuance – knowing the difference between stepping outside your comfort zone for the sake of growth & awesomeness vs. legitimately not being into something. My hunch is that you’re straight up not into networking events. The kind of thing that stirs up fear because it’s uncomfortable, but is ultimately good for you is the kind of thing that gives you a feeling of fear mixed with excitement. Our culture certainly insists on “sucking it up,” but I think we can do better. Try asking yourself, why do you think that you should go? Is there another way you could achieve that same outcome that’s more your style? For instance, if you want to be seen at work, is there another way you could go about doing it that feels better for you? Maybe you could organize or suggest a particular kind of event that fits your personality. A big key in your description of the way you feel is the combination of hating it and feeling drained. That sounds like a definite “no” from the body compass to me. Once you notice your body’s response, question all the thoughts that come up against it and see where it leads you. Best of luck!