Adulting is hard.

There are so many responsibilities. So much pressure. So little time. No less than one bajillion competing priorities.

I can hear that little voice in your head telling you that you should get it all done…then you can start fresh. Then things will be different. You’ll get all your ducks in a row, and all will be well.

But you never seem to reach the end of the to-do list, do you?

So you feel guilty for taking the time to do things that YOU want to do, just for you. Instead, you do nothing. You tune into Netflix and grab some nachos, staying up past your intended bedtime and feeling kinda numb.

Tired. Irritated. Meh.

Waiting on the people around you to change so that you won’t have to micromanage them.

Maybe then you’ll have time to read a book or take a walk or listen to a podcast.

Here’s the thing: If nothing changes, then nothing changes.

This cycle will continue unless you call a time out and choose a new way of being.

I recently heard a metaphor that comes in handy for this lesson. Christine Miserandino is living with lupus, and she came up with a metaphor for energy called “spoon theory.” Here’s the idea…

Think of your energy like a bunch of spoons. You wake up each day with a certain number of spoons, and each activity costs you one.

Making lunches for the kids costs a spoon.

Washing your hair and styling it costs a spoon.

Picking up the dry cleaning costs a spoon.

For those with chronic illness, that might be it for the available spoons in a day. Others may have more to spend. So we need to be choosy about where we spend our spoons.

The secret about spoons is that you can earn more of them. There’s only one rule to ensure you get more of them.


Maybe that means going to bed earlier or meditating. Perhaps it means making time for tea with your bestie who just gets you and with whom you can be completely and utterly yourself. Maybe it means writing or singing or doing some other creative thing. It’ll be different for each of us.

If you wait to do these things until all your spoons are spent…

(I feel like I don’t have to tell you. You already know because you’ve been there.) 

No spoons, no fun. We just put off the very thing we say we want to do. We get stuck.

Here’s what I really want you to know about spoons. They’re magical in that they give us exponential energy. Do one thing that gives you life, and suddenly the things that drain you are not so draining.

Remember that time when you saw a really inspiring speaker? Or spent time with someone who lights you up? Second wind doesn’t begin to describe it. We can go from exhausted to turned on and ready to go in a heartbeat when we take the time to do the things that give us life.

As a recovering all-or-nothing kinda woman, you know I’ve gotta give you the goods about behaviour change and baby steps too. You’ve heard me say it a million times, I’m sure, but it’s so so so important. No step is too small.

So, how about it?
Can you think of something easy and inexpensive (or even free) that gives you life?
Can you think of one way to implement it in a teeny tiny way?
Can you take action on it today or tomorrow?

You don’t have to do it alone. I’m here for you.

Take the first step towards putting yourself on the priority list.

Check out my upcoming self-care workshop, CULTIVATING CAPACITY, happening on Monday, November 16th at 6:30pm EST.