“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”
-Audre Lorde
Feminism invites us to call our power back. This is as important on the personal level as it is as a society. In order to get anywhere, we need to begin where we are. Truthfully, most of us are exhausted and overcommitted. When we busy ourselves taking care of others at the expense of our own self-care, at the expense of our own interests, at the expense of our sense of self, we are giving away our power. Our social programming predisposes us to live by the “rule” of woman as nurturer and caretaker, often leaving ourselves out of the equation. When the women I work with get really honest with me about how it feels to live that way, they tell me that they’re unhappy, depleted, and sometimes even resentful. They don’t know who they are anymore. They commit to things they think they “should” do, lest guilt should come knocking. Their desires have all but disappeared, having been put on the backburner for so long.
I believe that when we begin to practice self-care, it’s the beginning of a tremendous shift. Practicing self care helps us to embody the following truths:
- I have a choice.
- My experience matters.
- I deserve to be cared for and nurtured.
- I am the leader of my life.
- I teach people how to treat me.
- I love and appreciate myself.
Self-care must happen regularly – not once in a blue moon – if we want to feel vibrant and whole in our daily lives. Spa days are lovely, but for best results, short practices that can be done daily or weekly serve us best. Consistency is key in order to reset the nervous system and develop a stronger relationship with ourselves. When we practice self-care regularly, we wire our brains with the truths above. It is a basic way to call our power back while reclaiming our time, energy and peace of mind. It’s empowering. It’s restorative. It’s self-preservation. It’s the new feminism.
The magic of all of this is that it’s scalable. By practicing self-care, we’re flexing the muscles we need to transform our relationships and our lives. When we make time for ourselves, we can actually feel and process our emotions, and allow our deepest truth to arise. From a place of self-awareness, we have more clarity and confidence, and we begin to lead our lives from the heart. On a basic level, we actually have energy – physically, mentally and emotionally – and this makes all the difference.
We hear about how self-care is important, but what we don’t talk about is how exactly to switch gears. How do we preserve what we love about the lives we have, while creating a shift to honour our truth?
It’s not uncommon to hear a woman resolve to make more time for herself, only to feel guilty and fall back into old patterns of overcommitting and making other people happy. For this shift to last, it’s important to take a closer look at what’s really going on. By looking at the places in our lives where our boundaries are less than fabulous, cultivating mindfulness around our choices, connecting to the wisdom of our bodies, calling our power back, speaking our truth, and taking small, manageable steps, we’re laying the foundation for a new way of being – one that honours our wholeness. Generic Viagra 100mg best buy on https://www.rmhc-richmond.org/buy-viagra-100/ for ED treatment.
This is why I’ve created the free webinar series, Create Space for YourSELF. My deepest desire for women as that they feel free and authentic as they walk the path of their choosing. I’m imagining a world in which your self-care comes first. This course is an invitation to begin that journey from wherever you are right now. Give yourself the gift of coming home to yourself. Join me on Thursday evenings from 6-7pm EST, starting on January 14th. You can attend online from wherever you are, and if you’re not able to make it live, the recording will be sent to you. For more information and to register, click here .
From my heart to yours, with love.
Brigid
Hi! I'm Brigid Dineen, Soul Whisperer. I believe in a world where well-being comes first. I develop bespoke self-care plans and coach women to set healthy boundaries so they can stop trying to live on leftovers and finally develop their dreams.
This post had be cheering Yes! The denial of self care is like denying ourselves other basic needs – and yet we’ve somehow fallen into the trap of feeling like we don’t deserve that very basic of human needs. Just like denying ourselves food, denying ourselves self care reduces our shine and our capacity to be all that we can be in the world.
As a mother to a six year old daughter I want to model what true feminism is – including the innate right to care for our bodies, minds and souls as part of our rights as humans on this earth.
Thank you for such a well written and powerful reminder.
What a fantastic intention – to model all of this for your daughter, and of course, to reap the benefits for yourself as well. We really do have to live it to give it, don’t we? I’m cheering you on, my friend. Thank you for your comments 🙂
I hadn’t thought of self-care as a political statement but I suppose in a way, it is – inviting us to call our power back. I have a week on self-care in my upcoming course about letting go of perfection as a parent (self-care so often the first thing to go!) but a whole series on creating space sounds great! Heading over to find out more now.
That’s so great that you include a week on self-care in your course for parents, Rachael! Perfectionism is so paralyzing, and self-care helps restore us so that we can move beyond ways of being that no longer serve us. Best wishes for your course!
I work with and see so many parents of children with special needs who cannot imagine there is any time during the day to even THINK about themselves, much less do anything about it. Self-care is so critical to your own emotional and physical well-being. How can parents help those they love if they don’t love (and care for) themselves?
I agree, this topic is something most women need to practice. Women often feel they don’t have enough time in the day to be who they want to be and to help take care of the people around them. Without self care, there can’t be a fulfilling existence. We have to make the time to allow ourselves to feel joy and happiness within ourselves.
Really important concept here that it took me a very long time to figure out. So I’ll add from personal experience shifting my own “busy-ness” routine, that when you first begin to pause and try not to fill up all your time being, well, “busy”, it is uncomfortable. It can be hard to hang out with that discomfort, but something for women to know is that like anything, practice, time and experience seeing it works … helps!
Often times women are made to feel like self-care is somehow being selfish. It’s up to us to redefine the meaning of selfish, “Selfishness” is self-love.
Just recently I’ve been thinking of his my self care has been lacking, inconsistent at best c
After reading this I can see it’s about consistency and habits.
I’ve made habits out of “forgetting” self-care, now it’s time to put it in the forefront.
This really reframes how I think of self care – and thank you for that. It’s easy for social programming to come in and scream that it’s selfish to take care of ourselves as women. Seeing self care as reclaiming power, and in digesting your post, thinking of my own energy as a well with a certain amount of “water” – it gives me a much more pragmatic way to approach it. I get less emotionally caught up when I can see it as a thing that is like breathing … Give and take, ebb and flow.